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Stamets@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 7 days ago

"And my dick fucks your wife more than you do. What's your point?"

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"And my dick fucks your wife more than you do. What's your point?"

lemmy.world

Stamets@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 7 days ago
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  • iii@mander.xyz
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    7 days ago

    The classic “OK boomer” still gets them angry, if that’s what you’re after

    • Windex007@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      This is right, where every other comment in this thread is wrong.

      Don’t take the bait.

      Even just a flat OK is better than taking the bait. Honestly, silence is better.

      Do you care? Then you are poor and mad.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        Ah unimpressed ok is probably the best response.

        • anomnom@sh.itjust.works
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          6 days ago

          Sarcastic “cool” works even better.

      • FiremanEdsRevenge@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        Pretty sure no one is replying seriously.

      • FireIced@lemmy.super.ynh.fr
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        7 days ago

        Well “ok boomer” is just replying with another rage bait

        • petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          7 days ago

          Yeah, bait for them. The point is to make them more mad than you are, that’s how you damage their social reputation.

          • FireIced@lemmy.super.ynh.fr
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            6 days ago

            They can hit you with the “you’re cringe” and then your reputation is damaged

            • iii@mander.xyz
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              6 days ago

              “No U” - reputation saved

              • FireIced@lemmy.super.ynh.fr
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                6 days ago

                Oh, the oldest trick in the book

                There’s still the uno reverse picture. So many counters! Exciting!

                • petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                  6 days ago

                  I don’t know if you’re being serious or not.

                  You’ve got to follow the pulse of the crowd. “You’re cringe” either sounds like the final blow to a shaky-legged cringe lord, or the last gasp of air from a voice-cracking, 14-year-old tough guy, depending on who the crowd is already inclined to agree with and possibly on whether they know what a floppy drive is.

                  The bottom line, though, is if you can get the crowd to cheer, then you can get other people to cheer.

      • Gigasser@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        This would be my response: “Oh wow! That’s so cool, I didn’t know Casio made watches that expensive!”

      • vala@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        Idk man the Godzilla watch in the other comment got hands.

    • ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de
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      7 days ago

      What if they’re 25?

      • musubibreakfast@lemm.ee
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        7 days ago

        Then you just give them a hug and tell them everything will be ok.

        • FireIced@lemmy.super.ynh.fr
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          7 days ago

          You must be good at tryNotToGoToPrison%

      • zjti8eit@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        6 days ago

        Then OK boomer is even better.

      • Fushuan [he/him]@lemm.ee
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        6 days ago

        Uuuh… ok?.. Weirdo…

    • obnomus@lemmy.ml
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      6 days ago

      LMFAO

  • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
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    6 days ago

    All these comments are trying too hard. The only two options are “OK?” and “that watch?”

    Verbose disses only work in rap

    • KeenFlame@feddit.nu
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      6 days ago

      Aahhhh winner:

      “that watch?”

      You are awesome. Now the ball is on their side and covered in two layers of diarrhea

    • untorquer@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Alternatively, “And it’s a very nice watch.” Bonus points for riding the line between nonchalance and condescension while still being a compliment.

    • Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Or a Guy Richie film.

      “Bleedin 'ell. You’ve bin 'ad mate. Blonde Tony was selling those daan the Nags 'ed last week for a pony. 5 for a ton.”

      • tetris11@feddit.uk
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        5 days ago

        *scratches head with gun*

    • Diurnambule@jlai.lu
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      6 days ago

      Ho I have the same one. That the only one you have?

  • Lupus@feddit.org
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    7 days ago

    “Interesting, may I see?” And when they hold their wrist up to you, inspect it closely, then lick it, make some faces like a wine connoisseur, shake your head and say :“It’s fake” turn around and disengage.

    • NaibofTabr@infosec.pub
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      7 days ago

  • agent_nycto@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Heh, amateur hour. Let me show you my watch.

    • FireIced@lemmy.super.ynh.fr
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      7 days ago

      The 3rd feature really convinced me

    • Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Godzila is more likely to keep accurate time.

  • phlegmy@sh.itjust.works
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    5 days ago

    Do you say shit like that because nobody can tell the difference between your watch and a cheap one?

  • dwindling7373@feddit.it
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    7 days ago

    “I don’t have a car”

    • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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      A power move when you know they know you have a car and it’s literally parked right outside

    • musubibreakfast@lemm.ee
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      7 days ago

      Or maybe double down: “I live in my car.”

  • Rhonda Sandtits@lemmy.sdf.org
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    5 days ago

    Holds up wrist sporting a Casio F-91W “Al-Qaida”

    Big deal… This watch also costs more than my car.

  • ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works
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    Serious answer:

    That’s cool. What makes it special?

    Sometimes people talk about how expensive something they own is simply because they’re proud that they could afford it and even when they’re being tone-deaf, there’s no benefit to getting offended when you could just move the conversation along instead. (Although you might have to listen to them talk about watches.) If they were trying to brag, now they’re stuck trying to explain why the watch is actually worth what they paid and you’re the one judging them.

    Cars (and watches) aren’t so expensive that a middle-class person can’t plausibly already own the one he would buy even if money was unlimited. You can act like that’s true about you. My status-conscious former mother in law was bothered by the fact that I owned an old car, but when she would bring it up I would just say “I really like the 2008 model.” She couldn’t argue with that.

    • thermal_shock@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      I feel special when my 6 year old laptop runs circles around your new shit because I know how to maintain it and don’t install every fucking app I find.

      • Preflight_Tomato@lemm.ee
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        & also you probably know to spec it appropriately; most slow laptops I see have 8 gigs ram.

        • Poplar?@lemmy.world
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          6 days ago

          Is 8 considered little?

          • Preflight_Tomato@lemm.ee
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            Yeah, it’s fine for now. If you’re doing anything more than the absolute basic, you’ll need 16+ now (on Win 11). Somewhat related, but my work computer was stuck, slow, and crashing at 99% utilization on 8GB until I added a card (my money). Now it stays around 85% on 16GB.

          • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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            For a Windows 11 machine 8GB is getting to be a limitation. Basically for right now its fine, but very soon 16GB will be the new minimum

        • ඞmir@lemmy.ml
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          6 days ago

          8 gigs of ram is plenty to run firefox and microsoft office

    • phantomwise@lemmy.ml
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      5 days ago

      That’s cool. What makes it special?

      Nice one. If it’s only a status thing he’ll scrabble to find something to say about it other than it’s price. And on the very very low chance that it’s not, he’ll have an excuse to explain. Who knows, he might be a watch nerd who’s really proud that he could afford that watch because it’s a special watch to watch nerds for watch related reasons and he’ll tell you all about it.

  • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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    7 days ago

    “Ok?”

    • 9point6@lemmy.world
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    • Korne127@lemmy.world
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      Ok; good for you?

  • aesthelete@lemmy.world
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    Sounds like you got ripped off

    • tfm@europe.pub
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      7 days ago

      Nooo bro it increases in value bro I’m investing in watches bro

      • ZeffSyde@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        But it’s gone up $200 since I bought it in 2014!

  • Taleya@aussie.zone
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    “So?”

    That’s the response you want. Complete andutter boredom. You don’t care. Their entire personality is built around a weird little status structure and if you don’t buy into their hallucination they lose their everloving minds

    • paperazzi@lemmy.world
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      “Ok” is my go-to. It feels dismissive because it is.

  • Padit@feddit.org
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    “Okay?”

    I am not a friend of clever comebacks. People who point these things out are pathetic and people who get triggered by that only slightly less so.

  • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
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    If you need to point out the watch and explain its value, you’ve already lost.

  • borokov@lemmy.world
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    Why the fuck would I drive a watch ?

  • theprogressivist @lemmy.world
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    “Well, the jerk store called, and they’re running out of you!”

    • blinfabian@feddit.nl
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      “What’s the difference? You’re their all-time bestseller!”

      • theprogressivist @lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        “Oh yeah?! Well… I slept with your wife!”

        • blinfabian@feddit.nl
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          “His wife is in a coma”

          • theprogressivist @lemmy.world
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            • blinfabian@feddit.nl
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              7 days ago

              awesome :D

          • ebolapie@lemmy.world
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            7 days ago

            The life support machine called…

          • 5ibelius9insterberg@feddit.org
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            7 days ago

            I also choose this guys wife

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