derek is still a cunt though. If you join and find shit you don’t like the first thing you should do is confront people. Either derek just likes causing people problems (and is a problematic individual) or he is not very bright and thinks that everything people say must be 100% true and serious.
I would not ever want to be friends with derek, that’s for sure.
yeah idk call me schizo all you want but i’m not huge on being friends with someone willing to drop everything to make me look the worst fucking person possible.
Derek did literally everything possible to cause fallout here, he really didn’t need to go that far.
How would you feel if you invited a few people to your home and then found out one of them secretly recorded audio the entire time? That’s the equivalent of screenshotting messages in a small group chat.
Unless you were literally planning crimes, the actual content of the conversation is irrelevant to the principle.
If, in my home me and my friends are sharing sensitive info about past relationships and other actions that can embarrass or hurt people, then exposing that is for the best. I mean where is the limit, if you’re invited to a chat where they’re massively racist and sexist, do you think that deserves to be exposed or do you just keep everyone’s dirty secrets no matter what?
idk i’d probably leave, and if anybody ever asked me about i’d say i didn’t like it. If i saw concerning behavior i would probably de-associate from those specific people. Not grenade an entire friend group over it, that’s extra.
It’s not my place to manage friend group politics.
Doing literally nothing when you see shitty behavior is almost as bad as the shitty behavior itself. Stop letting people you know get away with being pieces of shit - call them out. Ignoring it simply enables more people to ignore it, and the behavior slowly becomes more and more socially acceptable.
If I see concerning behavior, I feel the need to say something because it’s concerning. More girls will be embarrassed, more people could be exploited, it’s not ok. I feel like seeing that, knowing you can do something, and choosing not to is pretty close to condoning it. It’s not about friend group politics; there are people outside the friend group who are being passed around in that without their knowledge or consent, and that’s not ok. I wouldn’t care if it was just guys with dark memes.
Using your same metaphor, if you came to another person’s house and all they did was shit on their family, and then make dark jokes about killing them - is it all fun and games until something bad happens?
There are lines. You don’t know what Derek saw.
But apparently it was so bad that a lot of people are really disgusted at the core group.
that’s true, but judging by this thread people are also really sensitive about this kind of shit, so it wouldn’t take very much for people to get pissed off like this.
Yeah, I’m one of those people. I have this apparently strange sensitivity to people sharing intimate photos of others without their consent or knowledge. Feels very exploitative. I’m just one of those people who doesn’t like to sit back and let people hurt others like that for the lols of a group chat.
Sorry, compromising photos and messages if we want to be pedantic. If you’re nit picking the nuance ls of the type of private content shared without someone’s consent you’ve already lost.
intimate photos implies, sexting, which is, a crime, according to people here. So yes, the semantics do matter :)
If you’re nit picking the nuance ls of the type of private content shared without someone’s consent you’ve already lost.
that’s my problem though, i can’t tell you what it is. Was it bad for them to do that? Probably? Does my opinion of them change if it was harmless shitposting between friends, vs genuinely talking behind the backs of various people for no discernable reason. Yes. But we don’t know that.
Unfortunately I am not god, and do not make the rules, so i cannot control what justice is and isn’t done.
Flip side: how would you feel if you shared your most vulnerable, intimate moments with one trusted person, only to realise that you’ve been recorded, shared around and commented on in a group chat full of acquaintances?
Can you see how Derek just delivered karmic justice?
yeah but half of those were previously recorded, the worst thing in that chat is probably the text messages from the one dude specifically. Maybe making fun of people behind their back? But it really depends on how that went down, could be primarily for venting it’s hard to say without having concrete examples. So i’m giving the benefit of the doubt on that one.
derek is still a cunt though. If you join and find shit you don’t like the first thing you should do is confront people. Either derek just likes causing people problems (and is a problematic individual) or he is not very bright and thinks that everything people say must be 100% true and serious.
I would not ever want to be friends with derek, that’s for sure.
Derek is a decent person, so you don’t have to worry about that.
yeah idk call me schizo all you want but i’m not huge on being friends with someone willing to drop everything to make me look the worst fucking person possible.
Derek did literally everything possible to cause fallout here, he really didn’t need to go that far.
It’s not hard to not be a shit person. That includes in private.
Derek did nothing wrong.
derek still did a shitty thing though. Regardless of how you look it.
How would you feel if you invited a few people to your home and then found out one of them secretly recorded audio the entire time? That’s the equivalent of screenshotting messages in a small group chat.
Unless you were literally planning crimes, the actual content of the conversation is irrelevant to the principle.
If, in my home me and my friends are sharing sensitive info about past relationships and other actions that can embarrass or hurt people, then exposing that is for the best. I mean where is the limit, if you’re invited to a chat where they’re massively racist and sexist, do you think that deserves to be exposed or do you just keep everyone’s dirty secrets no matter what?
idk i’d probably leave, and if anybody ever asked me about i’d say i didn’t like it. If i saw concerning behavior i would probably de-associate from those specific people. Not grenade an entire friend group over it, that’s extra.
It’s not my place to manage friend group politics.
Doing literally nothing when you see shitty behavior is almost as bad as the shitty behavior itself. Stop letting people you know get away with being pieces of shit - call them out. Ignoring it simply enables more people to ignore it, and the behavior slowly becomes more and more socially acceptable.
If I see concerning behavior, I feel the need to say something because it’s concerning. More girls will be embarrassed, more people could be exploited, it’s not ok. I feel like seeing that, knowing you can do something, and choosing not to is pretty close to condoning it. It’s not about friend group politics; there are people outside the friend group who are being passed around in that without their knowledge or consent, and that’s not ok. I wouldn’t care if it was just guys with dark memes.
Using your same metaphor, if you came to another person’s house and all they did was shit on their family, and then make dark jokes about killing them - is it all fun and games until something bad happens?
There are lines. You don’t know what Derek saw.
But apparently it was so bad that a lot of people are really disgusted at the core group.
that’s true, but judging by this thread people are also really sensitive about this kind of shit, so it wouldn’t take very much for people to get pissed off like this.
Yeah, I’m one of those people. I have this apparently strange sensitivity to people sharing intimate photos of others without their consent or knowledge. Feels very exploitative. I’m just one of those people who doesn’t like to sit back and let people hurt others like that for the lols of a group chat.
weird that you mention sharing explicit photos, because that’s something that didn’t happen. If we’re to believe OP, that is.
Sorry, compromising photos and messages if we want to be pedantic. If you’re nit picking the nuance ls of the type of private content shared without someone’s consent you’ve already lost.
intimate photos implies, sexting, which is, a crime, according to people here. So yes, the semantics do matter :)
that’s my problem though, i can’t tell you what it is. Was it bad for them to do that? Probably? Does my opinion of them change if it was harmless shitposting between friends, vs genuinely talking behind the backs of various people for no discernable reason. Yes. But we don’t know that.
Unfortunately I am not god, and do not make the rules, so i cannot control what justice is and isn’t done.
Flip side: how would you feel if you shared your most vulnerable, intimate moments with one trusted person, only to realise that you’ve been recorded, shared around and commented on in a group chat full of acquaintances?
Can you see how Derek just delivered karmic justice?
I’m not saying it’s not awful, but I still think that publicly telling everyone is inappropriate. Derek basically did the same thing as them.
So it’s okay for the group to bully people, but not for Derek to expose it? Weird line, definitely a red flag…
yeah but half of those were previously recorded, the worst thing in that chat is probably the text messages from the one dude specifically. Maybe making fun of people behind their back? But it really depends on how that went down, could be primarily for venting it’s hard to say without having concrete examples. So i’m giving the benefit of the doubt on that one.