Maybe you shouldn’t be seafood if you don’t want to be eaten by cats. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yeah also 4chan

They should be Edsels for maximum insult

Do you not have a VPN?

Has to be Obvious Plant

Aw adorable :)

If you want my squidbod
And you think I’m slimy

Ooh baby sexy slimy squid bod

Mostly unrelated, but here’s one of my favorites (I had this on a mug but I broke it :/ ):

I’m 42. I owed about $88K after college (including one very expensive semester of med school in which I realized I didn’t want to be a doctor after all). In addition to my full-time job, I did a whole bunch of consulting work, which let me completely pay off my student loans plus pay for grad school out of pocket.

Heeeere we go again guys… hold on to your jeans

Recently Trump was selling $100K gold watches; I’m assuming it was mostly maga folks who bought them

Murr SAY deez

Ooh I do mulled apple cider in the crock pot with cinnamon sticks, star anise, cloves, ginger, allspice, cardamom, nutmeg, and orange slices. Bottle of spiced rum on the side for those who want it. People really love it!

Different strokes for different folks… more for me! 🎃🍺

Fucking excel. Lemmy lemme tell you. At a former position my boss wanted me to make an economic model in excel. I begged to do it in R but no dice. Annoyingly VBA was the skill all other employers were interested in (in my brief foray into industry). I had a million sads.

Man I wish i were good at puns because I love crows and seizing the man’s of production but I’m drunk and I got bupkis sorry

Oh man there is (or was, I’m too lazy to check) a restaurant in Philly that had walls that were transparent when you were outside the bathroom but when you locked the door became opaque from the outside but were still transparent from the inside and it was WEIRD pissing in there. Paranoia to the max

Presented without comment:

You were the blue light special…