Precious Hamburgers?

Foods that are ruined by ambient humidity, that’s what kind.

Don’t forget about Blue-Footed Boobies!

Not when you factor in the money spent on toilet paper needed to clean up the nasty shits you’ll get from chugging a jar of tomato sauce.

Edit: Not to mention how many meals you could have gotten out of it by eating it on pasta. $5 bucks can get you 5 meals, your way you gotta spend $15 for 5 meals and you don’t get any pasta.

Well, ideally Bernie would have won reelection in 2020 so he wouldn’t have been able to run this time.

I wouldn’t recommend consuming an entire jar of pasta sauce regardless of sugar content, it’s just not economical.

Oh, so Jesus just had one nut, the Holy Ghost had the other one, and God obviously had the Heavenly Shaft. Got it.

Jesus and God are two different entities, we were discussing “The Father”.

Well God, that’s pretty sexist. You don’t need a penis to pee.

Peeing implies waste, which implies imperfection. If god were really God, his body would be 100% efficient and he wouldn’t consume anything he didn’t need.

It’s believable if it’s set in winter somewhere cold. Otherwise yeah, if it hasn’t been established that the car does that sometimes, it’s bs. And if that has been established, it’s pretty heavy-handed foreshadowing.

You’re describing users without basic knowledge.

I’ve always preferred Geri’s Game anyway

This is pretty big news, I would think it would be relevant in way more than just one article, time to do some updating.

Yeah, that’s the quintessential dad joke, which they spun to match the monster theme.

“Suspension of plot or conclusion” are not really “things” at all, much less defining characteristics of humor. You just don’t get it, and that’s ok! It doesn’t make you less than or anything.

Dead/dad

Edit: “good-bite” is a pun too

Oh for sure, they don’t even flash unless you have one with the emergency mode.

It’s funny because you don’t expect kids to want there to be monsters under their beds. Typically, or rather trope-ically, children ask their parents to make sure there are no monsters under their beds and at first it would appear the same is true here. However, the child and parent themselves appear ghoulish, and when it’s revealed that there is in fact a monster under the bed, ostensibly the father as it is similarly ghoulish and tells a pretty decent double-layer dad joke, the child is relieved. It’s irony! And puns. And just good Halloween vibes, which I admit aren’t inherently humorous. But I’d argue they are almost always inherently light-hearted. I give it 9/10, especially compared to a lot of the shit I see posted around here.

It’s called a flashlight, or a “torch” in more primitive parts of the world…jk UK, love you crazy kooks.