FuglyDuck

but… if I don’t make a mess, how are you going to stress clean?

See. I’m helping you destress.

no. its Cunningham’s- ah shit, you fucker.

When they boop your snoot… it really is a treat.

Or I just don’t want to get choked to death over twenty bucks.

makes sense. Apple started Darwin OS as a way to get people to develop macOS for them, and most microsoft cloud systems… run on linux…

Pretty sure most amazon AWS runs on linux too.

We don’t need any dead martyrs.

Which is why I want him to pop an aneurysm or something, in the middle of a hate fueled rally.

Yes they do.

They absolutely do.

They would have extreme difficulty staffing without felons.

Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be if the secret service allowed him to serve the general public?

I mean, just off the top of my head ways that could go wrong:

• car bomb.
• sawed off shotgun
• normal shotgun in grandma’s minivan
• any assortment of pistols, including grampa’s .45 snubby.
• chemical attack (acid. Base. In a mug. Or weed spraying jug.)
• special mention to Novichok
• biologic (similar delivery.)
• nuclear. (Special mention to Russian polonium.)

This is all in addition to the risk that trump causes a grease fire (too bad it didn’t happen….)

the official explanation is “marketing”. (there’s a few reasons for it. 9 is considered unlucky in japan, for example. they wanted branding with 10. etc)

The fun thing is that there was a version that should have come out between 8 and 10 and didn’t. they decided to abandon it in very very pre-alpha because it was just that bad. (No, that probably doesn’t explain the gap. but its fun to poke at.). Basically it was supposed to take all the stupid features like seamless phone OS integration and tablet stuff and become some sort of uber universal-operating system that sucks.

So awful that not even Microsoft would dare publish it?

define “work well”.

I work in contract security, and I’ve spent the better part of a decade doing armed shit for that. Plenty of high pressure incidents. Nobody died, which was praised. But somehow I get the feeling the interviewer wouldn’t like that kind of “work”. (Like stuffing my hand up an entry wound when a construction contractor through-and-through’d his thigh with an air nailer. 9 penny nail hit his femoral artery. "hey buddy this is gonna hurt’ when the dude is bleeding out was, maybe stating the obvious. Yes. he lived. most awkward ambulance ride ever.)(in a fit of irony, their boss made him the safety guy. which he takes seriously now.)

and they went “nah lol”

Any one who’s raised kids knows that the moment they created that one restriction, it set up a fascination with that tree. Curiosity is like that. The more they remind themselves they can’t, the more they wonder.

All the other stuff? Boring. Old news.

More over, they were literally the definition of ignorant. They had no understanding of good,evil, or sin; only that they were told not to.

Like toddlers. Except instead of teaching toddlers to behave, he kicked them out of the home, disowns them and says “good luck, fuck off, and oh if you come back a giant flaming sword will go up your ass.”

Growing up, I just assumed that it was like how when my parent’s dachshund realized she was about to get a bath and would hide under the bed. Sure. they knew where she was the entire time; but they wanted her to come out on their own.

having never quite fully grown up and still DMing for D&D… I can assure you he was just play acting for the plot; so he could bring his DMPC in to save the day. (suffice it to say, god would be a shitty dm, if god existed.)

It doesn’t take an omniscient being who can see the entirety of the past, present and future to know that.

Which, means they were decidedly not meant to chill in the garden. Rather, they were meant to eat the fruit and gaslight into believing it was their fault.

It’s like some idiotic-asshole who gets a pair of golden retrievers, tells them they can have all the kibble and dog treats they want, but not the pizza left on the counter.

Of course Adam and Steve are gonna snarf on the pizza the moment Jackass leaves. It’s not their fault. They’re just dogs.

(What? This is my story. The dogs are Adam and Steve.)

Being literally-ignorant of morality would be a justifiable defense. according to the story, they had no knowledge of good and evil, and therefore could not knowingly sin. They’d be declared mentally incompetent to stand trial and, given that it was just a fucking apple (or probably not, actually…); the prosecutor chided for wasting the courts time.

but then, it’s a bronze age myth and they really didn’t give a fuck about niceties like ‘presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law’, or due process in general.

I once said “meow” in a positive voice and the cat looked at me as if I had just offended six generations of mothers.

we can improve Epic Fantasy Voting simply by leaving the candidates there.

I know. Like I said…. It didn’t take long.

I just wish I didn’t know,

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this did not take long.

and I wish I didn’t know what ‘this’ was.