God: “Lucy, old buddy? I need you to invent something for me”

Quick question, is this a tax deductible donation? The IRS won’t answer my emails on this

Unfortunately, neither vanilla nor coffee beans are actual beans

Come to think of it, why is stuff like nicotine gum only marketed to people who wanna quit smoking? Couldn’t non smokers also just use it for a mild high?

Mads looks genuinely upset that you interrupted their little love session

I once had an enema version of this car

This is my private domicile and I will not be harassed

Mine can be turned around and have “9mm” and “11mm” printed on them

So the penis inspectior that shows up at my house two times a month is a fraud?

This puts a whole new spin on “Masters of the Universe”

*Edit: Wow that was a bad typo. Why are n and j even so close together on a keyboard

I will let you choose if you wanna be turned into a paper clip or gray goo

Perhaps even a mimic full of diamonds

I don’t think there’s much evidence besides people asking for help on forums after doing it, but those could also be fake.

Also keep in mind that everything on the internet is a lie ment to infuriate you

Birds aren’t the descendents of dinosaurs, they ARE dinosaurs. So yes, chickens do harch from dinosaur eggs

An infinite set doesn’t necessarily contain every number. And the Grand Hilbert Hotel is known for having a strict policy against Tartarus convict’s

Spaghetti > Meatball

Time to die with highly visible boots

https://xkcd.com/2004/

What’s the name of that African king who was the richest man in all of history? I don’t remember anything about him but his salary

Reminds me of the City University of New York