That 1/3 feels low tbh. Hell basically every woman I’ve talked about it with has been sexually assaulted in a public setting. Some more severe than others of course but being groped in a bar by someone is such a common experience for women that I can’t help but wonder if they used the word sexual harassment rather than described it. There’s that study that showed if you describe rape without using the word a lot more people are willing to admit to it than if you just use the word.
I should be able to partake in third spaces, including those which sell intoxicants without being sexually assaulted.
But whatever, how was I asking for sexual harassment when I went for a run in a residential neighborhood in broad daylight? Or when my now wife and I walked to a fast food restaurant and had a group of men move from telling us how they wanted to fuck us to calling us slurs and eventually settling on both. These experiences are just the sort of shit most women have been through.
I understand that but there is a big difference between being cautious and being a paranoid man hater and that’s what I’ve been seeing a lot of lately. There are a lot of disgusting men in the world, I won’t deny that, but to assume all men are like that is asinine.
We aren’t assuming all men are like that, we’re assuming an unknown man is more likely to be like that than is worth the risk.
And then there’s the fact that the majority of rape victims knew and trusted their rapist. Then we’re here knowing that when we’re raped or abused or whatever else we’re going to be treated like fools for trusting the person who hurt us.
So if you assume an unknown man is likely to be violent towards you and it’s not worth the risk then how do you ever expect to meet new people that are men without automatically assuming they are a rapist? Also, you said that the majority of rape victims knew and trusted their rapists which means that you can’t even trust the people you know. So now you’re telling me you literally can’t trust anyone and you’re trying to tell me that you’re not paranoid. Please explain to me how that makes sense.
You’re the one saying “all men”. I’m saying there’s a reason women are skeptical and distrusting of nearly all men UNTIL they’ve gotten to know and vett them. I do research and script writing for a documentary series about crime and was a mortician for a decade; so this subject hits close to home.
There’s a good reason why we’re cautious.
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/fastfact.html
https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/homicide-leading-cause-of-death-for-pregnant-women-in-u-s/
That 1/3 feels low tbh. Hell basically every woman I’ve talked about it with has been sexually assaulted in a public setting. Some more severe than others of course but being groped in a bar by someone is such a common experience for women that I can’t help but wonder if they used the word sexual harassment rather than described it. There’s that study that showed if you describe rape without using the word a lot more people are willing to admit to it than if you just use the word.
“Public setting with alcohol” is a different beast than just “public setting”.
I should be able to partake in third spaces, including those which sell intoxicants without being sexually assaulted.
But whatever, how was I asking for sexual harassment when I went for a run in a residential neighborhood in broad daylight? Or when my now wife and I walked to a fast food restaurant and had a group of men move from telling us how they wanted to fuck us to calling us slurs and eventually settling on both. These experiences are just the sort of shit most women have been through.
Yes, you should. I wasn’t saying otherwise. I apologize that it came across the way it did.
Same end result.
Yes, but it would help explain why it’s such a common occurrence when that’s where it’s happening.
I understand that but there is a big difference between being cautious and being a paranoid man hater and that’s what I’ve been seeing a lot of lately. There are a lot of disgusting men in the world, I won’t deny that, but to assume all men are like that is asinine.
We aren’t assuming all men are like that, we’re assuming an unknown man is more likely to be like that than is worth the risk.
And then there’s the fact that the majority of rape victims knew and trusted their rapist. Then we’re here knowing that when we’re raped or abused or whatever else we’re going to be treated like fools for trusting the person who hurt us.
So in short, not all men, but far too many women
So if you assume an unknown man is likely to be violent towards you and it’s not worth the risk then how do you ever expect to meet new people that are men without automatically assuming they are a rapist? Also, you said that the majority of rape victims knew and trusted their rapists which means that you can’t even trust the people you know. So now you’re telling me you literally can’t trust anyone and you’re trying to tell me that you’re not paranoid. Please explain to me how that makes sense.
“Paranoid” only applies if it’s not justified. It’s not paranoid to act reasonably to a potential threat.
Most women just fake trust until it’s proven one way or the other. We’re just not bothering faking it with total strangers as much.
You’re the one saying “all men”. I’m saying there’s a reason women are skeptical and distrusting of nearly all men UNTIL they’ve gotten to know and vett them. I do research and script writing for a documentary series about crime and was a mortician for a decade; so this subject hits close to home.