I’m posting this thinking you only see gaslighting as its intentional use by other people.
But there’s also the instance of self-gaslighting, where one creates their own demons.
We’ll take as an example the idea of the movie “Number 23”. Where Jim Carrey plays a man who becomes obsessed with the number 23, starts seeing it everywhere and begins the search for a conspiracy related to it.
When we begin to fear something, we start taking it as a serious possibly of happening. We get drawn by news we’d otherwise pay less attention to, we start searching our surroundings for the chance that something like that might happen, we begin to view potential aggressors with distrust.
And the longer we focus on this fear, the more it takes over and compromises our judgement.
This is where the self-gaslighting comes in. We twist the world to have it conform to this fear, second-guess every interaction, attribute hidden meanings to every conversation and consider anyone who might be able to act as we fear as someone willing to act in that way.
Self-gaslighting can be inferred from the comic above because all we see are the instances in which the fear is magnified in an otherwise normal day.
Catcalling, sticking too close in the subway, dismissive reactions, they’re all normal, rude behavior that happen to anyone, but in different ways.
Catcalling specifically happens to women as an uneducated attempt to flirt or show off. Most of the time it’s just a dumb ritual of teasing that most of the initiators simply forget about, but on the rare occasions that it devolves to violence, anyone can be a target: the woman in question, the friends the watched it happen or any random passerby that had the misfortune of being a passive observer.
Most women don’t stick around long enough to see that part happen though.
Sticking too close in the subway, if not by a violent individual who would be violent regardless when given the chance, is an awkward social need or a sign of depression.
Have you ever seen the meme about a guy relieving himself in the men’s restroom, only to have another guy come in and stop at a urinal right next to the first guy? That’s not just a meme.
Men have to suffer such individuals all the time.
And in the subway specifically, maybe the person is a creep. But also maybe they don’t care who sits around because they like that spot, it soothes them after a long day at work, it’s their one real joy and you’re in the way. Or maybe they’re socially awkward and want to start a conversation, but are too shy to do so in public. Or maybe they’re just a creep. Really, they’re probably just a creep. The subway brings out the weird in people.
And finally, dismissive reactions are normal in everything. We don’t want to live in fear, we don’t want to blow things out of proportions, we don’t want to engage in stressful situations all around.
It’s like going to WebMD, it says you have cancer, so you freak out, people tell you to chill and you’re upset they’re not freaking out with you.
You may consider the dismissal as a lack of emotional support, yet on the contrary, trying to calm you down is the best emotional support one can offer even though it’s done poorly. Freaking out doesn’t help, ever.
All in all, self-gaslighting into believing things are worse than they actually are is more common than we think. But the opposite is also very much true.
The dog sitting in a burning room meme saying “This is fine” is the gold standard in today’s society.
I’m posting this thinking you only see gaslighting as its intentional use by other people. But there’s also the instance of self-gaslighting, where one creates their own demons.
We’ll take as an example the idea of the movie “Number 23”. Where Jim Carrey plays a man who becomes obsessed with the number 23, starts seeing it everywhere and begins the search for a conspiracy related to it.
When we begin to fear something, we start taking it as a serious possibly of happening. We get drawn by news we’d otherwise pay less attention to, we start searching our surroundings for the chance that something like that might happen, we begin to view potential aggressors with distrust. And the longer we focus on this fear, the more it takes over and compromises our judgement. This is where the self-gaslighting comes in. We twist the world to have it conform to this fear, second-guess every interaction, attribute hidden meanings to every conversation and consider anyone who might be able to act as we fear as someone willing to act in that way.
Self-gaslighting can be inferred from the comic above because all we see are the instances in which the fear is magnified in an otherwise normal day.
Catcalling, sticking too close in the subway, dismissive reactions, they’re all normal, rude behavior that happen to anyone, but in different ways.
Catcalling specifically happens to women as an uneducated attempt to flirt or show off. Most of the time it’s just a dumb ritual of teasing that most of the initiators simply forget about, but on the rare occasions that it devolves to violence, anyone can be a target: the woman in question, the friends the watched it happen or any random passerby that had the misfortune of being a passive observer. Most women don’t stick around long enough to see that part happen though.
Sticking too close in the subway, if not by a violent individual who would be violent regardless when given the chance, is an awkward social need or a sign of depression. Have you ever seen the meme about a guy relieving himself in the men’s restroom, only to have another guy come in and stop at a urinal right next to the first guy? That’s not just a meme. Men have to suffer such individuals all the time.
And in the subway specifically, maybe the person is a creep. But also maybe they don’t care who sits around because they like that spot, it soothes them after a long day at work, it’s their one real joy and you’re in the way. Or maybe they’re socially awkward and want to start a conversation, but are too shy to do so in public. Or maybe they’re just a creep. Really, they’re probably just a creep. The subway brings out the weird in people.
And finally, dismissive reactions are normal in everything. We don’t want to live in fear, we don’t want to blow things out of proportions, we don’t want to engage in stressful situations all around. It’s like going to WebMD, it says you have cancer, so you freak out, people tell you to chill and you’re upset they’re not freaking out with you.
You may consider the dismissal as a lack of emotional support, yet on the contrary, trying to calm you down is the best emotional support one can offer even though it’s done poorly. Freaking out doesn’t help, ever.
All in all, self-gaslighting into believing things are worse than they actually are is more common than we think. But the opposite is also very much true. The dog sitting in a burning room meme saying “This is fine” is the gold standard in today’s society.