I spent a whole two months using my cat’s favorite treats (literally just the cheap temptations in the big jar at Walmart) steadily tapered off into her favorite pets (a single index finger stroking her cheek) to explain to her that I prefer a single wet nose-to-nose boop.

Excellent expenditure of time if I must say so myself.

I still wake up in the morning like “aaaaugh no I’M NOT READY” but at least she’s cute about it.